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This rule is almost never stated or enforced among queer communities.
If you're gay, you will almost inevitably date a friend's ex at some point.
Queer communities are often small and insular, and once you've found one, you tend to hold on to it for dear life.
It's difficult to meet people you're romantically interested in beyond an already-defined circle, and outside of your city's queer scene, most people you run into are likely to be straight.
Starting a relationship should be a pleasant part of life. Do not hesitate from talking to your friend about it.
While we were together she became quite friendly with a mate of mine who is part of my close circle of friends.
I gave a party two months after the break-up and I asked this guy to respect my feelings and our friendship and not spend time with my ex-girlfriend.
And now that the two of them have parted ways, you find yourself attracted to the same girl! Now let us start with accepting the fact that there is some obvious amount of risk involved in dating your friend's ex.
You can easily become villainous in the eyes of not just the friend whose ex you are dating but also in the eyes of the members of your pack.